Have you ever thought “if I had said it differently, maybe it would have worked” or “if I hadn't said that at that moment, it could have worked”?
It is quite common for people to associate negotiation content only with the sales area, without realizing that, in fact, we are all negotiating at all times . Whether at work, at home, in relationships. How do you ask your superior for a day off? You have to know how to talk to get those best dates, right?
And to decide where to have dinner with your friends? That day when you're lusting after a Japanese guy, if you convince them, everyone ends up agreeing, right?
In fact, with mastery of the correct negotiation techniques, it is possible to achieve several personal advantages. However, it is in the professional environment that this quality gains more prominence, as we are constantly being evaluated and there is not much room for error.
Knowing this, we spoke to professor Marden Barboza about the subject!
Marden is responsible for the Negotiation and Persuasion Techniques at the IDP School of Executive Education. During classes, the professor uses the Harvard University teaching method, using everything from a solid theoretical structure to simulated negotiations, in addition to analysis of real cases. Find out more about the course here!
The professor has a master's degree in Public Administration from Harvard University (USA) and a master's degree in International Relations from the University of Brasília. In addition, he was Deputy Secretary for International Affairs at the Ministry of Finance and Vice-President of the Board of Directors of CAIXA.
Check out the conversation in full:
1. Is being persuasive and good at negotiation a talent or skill to be developed?
I've been asked this other times and I'll give my answer with another question: is learning to play an instrument a talent or a developed skill?
We all know those rare people who learn quickly, on their own, and who play songs “by ear” based on their pure personal talent. It’s people who have the “gift”, right? And there is another group, the vast majority, of people who need to study and train a lot to one day master an instrument.
The most important thing is to know that the benefit of the “gift” decreases over time. In other words, the mentioned talent may be useful at the beginning, but it will be less and less important as time passes. And as this time passes, study, training and discipline become decisive in transforming the merely good musician into the excellent musician that we all love to listen to.
In negotiations, in the same way, the “gift” can be useful at the beginning, but over time, those who study, those who make an effort, those who use the correct technique stand out more. In negotiations, as in life, “effort can overcome talent if talent does not try.”
2. How to differentiate a good negotiator from an average one?
Very briefly, I would say that the average negotiator cares about his result, while the good negotiator cares about the result of the negotiation.
The average negotiator is concerned with convincing and the good negotiator is concerned with understanding first and convincing later.
The average negotiator is concerned with defending his strategy and the good negotiator is concerned with adjusting his strategy to the negotiation context.
The average negotiator sees differences as challenges to be overcome and the good negotiator sees differences as opportunities for everyone to gain.
The important thing is that any average negotiator can become a good negotiator . And this will happen faster if this average negotiator has perseverance, a desire to learn and knows how to develop skills that value what he or she has to offer.
3. In what situations does having mastery of negotiation and persuasion techniques make all the difference in the final result?
I'll start by saying that we negotiate all the time in our lives, often without realizing it. We negotiate when we define the delivery of our work, we negotiate when we hire a service and we negotiate when we choose the restaurant where we will have lunch with the family. In all these negotiations we also need to persuade in favor of what interests us most and I would say, therefore, that negotiation and persuasion techniques are always important. Still, I consider that these techniques are more important in the professional environment, because there we are being evaluated all the time and the margin for error, for failure, is very small.
To cite an example, you don’t need to look very far. Just look at the Covid-19 pandemic and think: how many negotiations took place so that vaccines could now reach the population? How many negotiations took place to hire researchers, finance laboratories, purchase inputs, define testing deadlines, carry out imports, obtain authorizations from government agencies and organize the entire distribution process around the world? There were hundreds of negotiations, perhaps thousands, and we can say, in conclusion, that lives were only saved because the people involved knew how to negotiate.
4. What is the key technique to obtain good results?
This is a difficult question, but I would venture to say that “ empathy ” is perhaps the most important attribute of a good negotiator. Knowing how to put yourself in someone else's shoes and see challenges from their perspective. Something simple in theory, but very difficult in practice, because our society thrives on competition and places little value on “empathy”. We learned to “speak beautifully”, but we did not learn to “listen beautifully”.
We talk a lot and listen little and forget that we have two ears and one mouth to listen more and talk less. We worry about our problems, our ideas, our achievements, and we don't have the time or patience to listen, process and react to other people's concerns. In ordinary life, a lack of empathy may be a minor problem, but in negotiations it is deadly. Negotiators without empathy create unnecessary conflicts, waste opportunities and destroy negotiations that could have created value for everyone.
5. What about the course at the IDP School of Executive Education, can you give us a preview of what will happen?
The course will replicate the Harvard University teaching method , which is based on three main pillars. First, a solid theoretical structure from renowned contemporary authors. We will analyze the different ways of negotiating and understand the theories, concepts and best strategies to achieve successful negotiations.
As a second pillar, we will have debates based on real cases, footage and situations that I have experienced throughout my almost 20 years as a negotiator. In the third and final pillar we will have simulated negotiations in which students will be able to put into practice what they have learned.
One of the details that I like most about these negotiations is the space for what I call “feedback”, where students make comments to each other and learn together in the search for the best way to negotiate. At the end of all negotiations, there is also a debate with the whole class so that students can present their doubts, make comments and contribute to the learning of their colleagues.
Want to know more about the topic? Check out details of the Negotiation and Persuasion Techniques !
